Inspirational? Me?
August 13th, 2003 by Anna

Okay, so it’s an ego boost to put up this web site, I’ll admit. I love the comments on how much weight I’ve lost and I love to hear that my site had motivated and inspired. But sometimes I feel like such a fake. Sometimes I don’t post because dang it I’m feeling so… uninspired. So unmotivated. That I feel like I’m letting people down if I post. Okay, I have definitely had my share of the bad eating posts, but I’m telling you I hold back way more than I list. And if I keep up with that trend, I feel like I’ll never post again. Because I’m eating like a big fat cow. I’m eating like a fat person that doesn’t care she’s fat. I’m using the pregnancy as an excuse. I could eat healthy, but oh no. I pretend the baby is causing me to crave Blue Bell’s Good Heaven’s ice cream by the pint. WhatEVER. The truth is, I’m feeling sorry for myself and using the pregnancy to eat without conscience. And what happens then? Well, then I start feeling sorry for myself because I’m not showing (good Lord, I’m only 10 weeks along!) but I’m not fitting into ANY of my size fours anymore and I’m looking longingly at my sixes. I had to buy “fat” clothes! I swore I never would again, but I can’t go nekkid to work! I was at Mass last Sunday and I saw two different women with newborns. One of them was quite heavy-set and the other… she looked like she had a tiny little post-pregnancy pooch but it was obvious that it wouldn’t be there maybe even next Sunday. I want to be like her. And I’m NOT going to be at this rate. I’m going to be quite lucky if I get back to goal in my allowed 3 months and I’m going to have to thank the Lord if I am able to not pay for a meeting every again. Will posting this stop this horrible trend? Not likely. I’m SO good at the mind games. So… I could use a good kick in the pants from the rest of you. Don’t go easy on me. Tell me what I need to hear. Tell me again why popcorn is better than Ben & Jerry’s. Oh, by the way, this isn’t an excuse, but the pathetic truth… I have a horrible aversion to anything green and healthy. The thought of lettuce and asparagus, and green beans and peas… I want to puke. And my once beloved bananas? They have praying to the porcelain god as well. So this pregnancy truly is making it harder to eat healthy. But still… I had three popsicles today. Within 15 minutes of each other!!!

3 Responses  
  • Erin writes:
    August 15th, 20033:56 pmat

    Congratulations ANNA!!!

    You know that it’s still possible to eat healthy when you’re pregnant….haven’t you been there before? I believe that you were free when you went back to your WW meetings after your last baby, weren’t you??

    Now is the time to step back and ask yourself 2 questions: 1) How bad do you want it?, and 2) What is going to take to do it? After you answer those two questions, at least you have the motivation to create some sort of plan for yourself.

    Now….I think you know that you that popcorn is better than B&J’s….and I’m sure that a rice krispie treat, granola bar, or Pria bar can help calm your sweet tooth. Yes, you’re eating for 2 now, but does the little one really need the extra helpings of all of those high-point foods??

    Stay on track. Not because you want to inspire and motivate anyone else…but do it for yourself. You’ve come WAY too far to do this journey all over again! Good luck!

  • Renee writes:
    August 18th, 20038:49 pmat

    You know what you need to do. You’ve managed your weight loss through a pregnancy before, right? Take a look at your “before” pictures and really think about how you felt then. Conjure up all the feelings. No ice cream is worth feeling like that again. You can do it! And can I just say, I can’t eat bananas anymore…not since I was pregnant with my first. Even the smell of them still gets me, 6 years later!

    I’m off to go take my own advice because I’m struggling myself right now!!!

  • Rosenberg Julia writes:
    January 20th, 20045:11 amat

    Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.

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