July 11th, 2003 by Anna

Dad’s timing is really weird. It seems when I’m at my heaviest (relatively speaking.. I’m talking about my heaviest now during maintenance), he comments on my weight loss and tells me I don’t need to lose anymore. At that point, I’m only trying to lose about five pounds, give or take, but that’s when he comments. Not when I’m at my lightest. Weird.

The other day, he commented again, but he brought it up in a different way than he usually does. He still said he didn’t think I needed to lose anymore weight and that he thought it would unhealthy if I did, but he asked when I was going to stop all this “nonsense” about counting points. That’s when I realized… he thinks this is a diet. He thinks it’s one of those things you do to lose weight and then you go right back the way you were. Like the grapefruit diet, or the soup diet… or whatever. He thought that I should be finished at some point. I explained that I was pretty well going to have to do this for life – gave him the whole WW spiel about a lifestyle change, not a diet. I didn’t feel like I felt semi-recently, where I felt all kinds of self pity about having to do this. I was okay with it. Then he said something even more curious… He said he wanted me to be “happy” and that skinny people are never happy. I reassured him that I was indeed “happy.” But isn’t that… silly? I mean, if fat people are so happy, why are they always trying to lose weight?

I’m happy with who I am, and where I am. I am focused on my weight more than the average jane, to be sure, but not to any real extremes. I hope Daddy is okay with it all now and doesn’t continue to worry…

One Response  
  • Darlene writes:
    July 19th, 20037:48 amat

    Hi…I enjoy reading your journal…sounds so much like me except you reached goal weight. I “play” with the program. I liked what you said to your Dad about it being a life long thing. I was in WW years ago…came within five pounds of my goal and decided I was “done”. Of course I gained every pound back (and more)and just have to realize that this is a life long thing. Seems like I start off every day real well with a food bar….drinking lots of water….exercising most days…then at night I EAT. I even quit counting points…I’m not very good at journaling…I have started writing to a niece who’s also in the program…she isn’t doing real well either. Hope to hear from you. Darlene

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