Some Tips
Feb 24th, 2003 by Anna

Weight Watcher’s web site had some great tips on it today. It was about making small changes in your lifestyle to help control eating. When I first started reading I was like, “yeah, yeah, heard it all before…” but there were a few tips I don’t follow that I could. It’s going to be another “rule” for myself… but it’s a good one… “Never eat out of a bag or a box. Take out a measured/counted quantity of food and put it ina bowl.” That will probably help me in two ways… First, is the obvious – you eat more if you don’t measure it out. But the way this will really help is that ultimately, I’m lazy. And if I have to measure something out and put it in a bowl (not in my hand – that’s cheating), I may not eat the item at all because it’s too much trouble. Heh heh. So we’ll see how that goes.

Focus… Focus…
Feb 20th, 2003 by Anna

Well, I had to refocus. I had all these good ideas, these great mind games to play with myself, some good, achieveable goals, and dang if I didn’t throw them out the window. I’m still having a big problem keeping myself in check when I do go over points. I’ve yet to go over “just a little bit.” If I blow it, I blow it big. I wish right now I had the guts to write that statement in the past tense, forcing myself to make it a trait of my past. But I’m giving myself that out. Grrrr!!! That’s what I need to work on, I guess.

Got lots of compliments today. I don’t know if my outfit is particularly slimming, or that I’ve dropped five of the extra pounds I was carrying around the last few weeks, or maybe both. It feels good, though. And the only way I’m going to continue to receive those compliments is if I keep my focus…

Mind Games: 1 – Anna: 0
Feb 11th, 2003 by Anna

I’ve been very bad the last few days. I can try to blame it on a lot of things, but really… who’s in control, right? So I’m not going to give the list of things I’d like to say are to blame for my poor choices. Starting right this second, I’m through with excuses and I’m going to follow my new rules for myself. But I’m so not sharing my food journal. LOL!

Out of Sight
Feb 7th, 2003 by Anna

I’m sitting here in a training meeting right now (obviously off task). There are snacks at the tables, none of which are even remotely healthy. There are lots of hard candies, chocolates, Tootsie rolls… that kind of stuff. Sitting in front of me is a Nutty Bite. I have no idea what a Nutty Bite tastes like but it’s got peanut butter and chocolate so how could you go wrong? I picked it up and looked for calorie and fat info but it’s obviously part of a big pack and the nutritional content isn’t on this packaging. So I was good and didn’t eat it. I could probably safely decide 3 points but I don’t know so I’m not going to eat it. But the darn thing is calling me. I can hear it. It’s right there and it’s staring at me and calling me. I could shut it up if I just ate it, but I don’t really want to spend my points on that. I know I could spend my points on that, and eat sensibly for the rest of the day… but I would really prefer to have my ice cream at the end of the day. So I’m going to ignore its call. But why is it calling me? Because I can see the darn thing. I had forgotten about it, its voice had faded, until a co-worker of mine picked it up and looked at it. I’ll bet she was looking for the nutritional content, too. I’ll bet it was calling her, too. But she had the strength to put it down. I’m proud of her. I know she’s trying to lose weight and that’s a big deal – putting down a piece of chocolate.

So back to why it’s calling us… it’s because we see it. We’re bored at this meeting, so we’re looking around and we keep focusing on that darned piece of chocolate. So… I’m going to move it. I’m going to hide it. Out of site, out of mind. It really does work.

The other day, Jonathan and I were at Red Lobster. I didn’t want to spend the points on their biscuits, which are heavenly, but I didn’t want to use my points on them. When they were brought to the table, I really really wanted one. Jonathan asked if I was going to have one and when I said no, he moved the drink menu that sits on the table and basically hid the basket of biscuits behind that menu stand. He was very, very discreet when he ate the one biscuit he had. And it was only a couple of minutes before I completely forgot that the biscuits were at the table! If they had been sitting in front of me, I would have wanted one. I would have heard them calling me and I would have felt suddenly deprived. I would have gone back to telling myself that I deserve to have that biscuit and I would have started down that spiral again.

I know further back in my journal I gave kudos to my husband for being aware of my issues and being discreet about eating my red-light foods and hiding the biscuits at the table. But I need to bring that up again because it’s that hiding that makes such a huge difference in how I eat. It really helps to not have quick access to foods that make me overeat.

I love Pringles. Luckily, Pringles has a fat-free version. You can have 15 chips for just a point. Whoo hoo! But I could eat the whole can without thinking about it. That’s seven points. A third of my points for the day? Is it really worth it? The thing is, probably 90% of the time that I eat Pringles, it’s not because I went to the pantry to get them. It’s because I saw them in the pantry when I went to get something else. So I didn’t really want them in the first place.

So my new thing to work on is to not allow myself to impulse eat. If I see something and want to eat it, I’m going to wait 15 minutes and see if I even think about it then. I won’t set a timer, of course, because hearing the timer will be trigger enough. But if, in 15 minutes, I still want to eat what I saw, then I will allow myself to have it. Counting points, of course.

By the way, this worked as pain management when I had my daughters. I had both of my girls completely drug free. I didn’t even have an IV with my second daughter. If I said I wanted something for pain, Jonathan and my doula were told to make me wait 15 minutes before requesting the nurse. If I asked for it again, then okay. Well, not okay… I’m sure they would have tried other ways to convince me I didn’t need them. You know, I never asked for drugs. Oh it was painful, that’s for sure. And I did say things like, “I can’t do this. This hurts too much.” But I didn’t specifically say I wanted drugs. Maybe because I knew that in 15 minutes, if I said it again, I might get them. And in the end, I wanted a drug-free birth. I had an out but I didn’t take it.

I’m hoping that this new rule for myself will have the same affect. I’m hoping that it will neutralize the call of that impulse snack. I’m hoping that having that out will give myself the strength to say, “I didn’t want those Pringles two seconds ago, I won’t want them 15 minutes from now because I won’t even be thinking about them, so I don’t want them now.”

It’s all a mind game, isn’t it? Well, I’m going to win this one. :)

Critical Mass
Feb 4th, 2003 by Anna

I don’t know if I mentioned what “critical mass” is yet. This is the term I use for my Weight Watcher’s goal weight. It is the weight that is the absolute max I ever want to reach. When I approach that weight, it’s my sign to refocus and get back on program. I originally made a goal to never reach critical mass… but I messed that up around Christmastime. So my new goal is to never reach it again. I’ve come perilously close, even recently, but I’m not going to hit it again. There. I said it. I hate saying things with such finality. But maybe that will help me actually stay on course…

Feb 4th, 2003 by Anna

I’m still trying to figure out what triggers me to over eat. Some days I’m completely aware that I’m going way over points, but I do nothing to curb my eating. Why? I tell myself that I deserve that chocolate, or I need those chips… Well, no, I’ve at least been smart enough to realize I don’t need to over eat… but I do tell myself I deserve to eat things. Or I’m having a bad day so I deserve this that will make me happy. I’ve said before, though, that I deserve to be in a body I’m proud of. I’ve had this same conversation with myself more times than I care of admit. I’m just having trouble making it sink in. Since I posted my food journal, I have gone over points more often than not. But I haven’t hit “critical mass” (yet?) and I’m getting back on track. The last few days I’ve really been good…

An explanation?
Feb 2nd, 2003 by Anna

I was talking to Jonathan about the whole banana thing and he had an interesting theory and why that banana (and my morning coffe with Nestle’s hot chocolate mix) are so critical to the start of my day. He suggested that I have so many things going on in my life, so many other stresses and decisions to make on a daily basis, that my coffee and banana represent something that is supposed to just happen without thinking, something I can count on. The rest of my day can go to hell in a handbasket, but I have my coffee and banana. So when I don’t get my coffee or banana, that puts a spin on my day because that’s the one thing I’m supposed to be able to count on, the one thing I’m not supposed to have to decide. It just is. I think Jonathan’s right on. So what does that do for me? Well, realizing why I behave the way I do certainly helps me in correcting that behavior. I’m not going to say I’m suddenly going to be okay if I run out of hot chocolate mix or I forget my banana again, but I’ll be aware of why I have that bit of anxiety and can better force myself to adapt…

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