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I had a breakthrough the other day.
January 20th, 2003 by Anna

I should note the day because it was a pretty incredible breakthrough for me. See, I have a habit of eating very quickly. And in my fat days, if I ate something I really liked, and ate it so quickly that I didn’t remember eating it… I’d have another so that I could enjoy it. Bad habit. So during my weight loss journey, I had to make a concentrated effort to eat slowly, especially for the things I particularly enjoyed. Last week, the four of us went to the mall. Jonathan had Madelynn and was buying something at Dillard’s while I took Meghan to get an ice cream. I had enough points to get a non-fat yogurt for myself. Meghan and I sat down to eat our desserts and casually chit-chatted about the things mothers and 3 year olds talk about. All of a sudden, I looked down at my yogurt and realized that I still had about two thirds of it left! It had been at least of few minutes and it was a kiddie sized yogurt! I felt so good! I mean, I’m trying hard to redefine who I am. I’m not a fat girl in a thin body. I’m a thin girl. I don’t have to gorge my food. I’m not giving myself the excuse to gorge my food (“That’s just how I eat…”). And here, finallly, I was eating my dessert slowly, and enjoying each and every bite.

Okay, so with that good news comes some bad news. I went over points yesterday. WAY over points. But I made myself journal all of it. And being aware that I was going to journal each bad choice made me make a few less bad choices, I have to admit. I decided not to try to reverse bank the day. I didn’t want to get discouraged during the week and being forced to so few points. And I wanted to be okay with myself to screw up once in awhile. Thin girls sometimes eat too much. The scale was not too bad to me this morning. A .2 pound gain over yesterday. And today I’ve already earned six activity points with some Tae-Bo. So I’m doing just fine.


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